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Sunday, February 11, 2018

Six tips for showing love to your significant other

Valentine’s Day is coming up and the topic of love is everywhere! Whether you’ve been in your relationship for years or you’re just starting out, it’s important to actively show love to your significant other. I asked my husband to help me with this post and we will take turns sharing tips on how you can show love to your partner. 

6 steps to showing love to your significant other

1.      I think the most important aspect of showing your significant other love is to know their love language. Have you heard of Gary Chapman’s love languages? If not, (or if you need a refresher) take the quiz, linked below. By knowing your significant other’s love language, you can ensure you are showing them love the way they recognize it. (If you’re not familiar with this idea, seriously, go read up on it now!)

5 love languages

2.      Do something for your partner. Whether it’s giving them a back massage, completing a chore/task they don’t like to do, or something they usually do. Go out of your way to do something nice for them. Without them asking. I think this is something universal that you can make work for any love language. 

3.      Do things as a couple you like, your partner likes, and you both like. I love to run and hike, my husband, not as much. So when he suggests going for a hike or signs up to run a race with me, I know he is making an effort to spend time with me. Likewise, I try to offer to do things he likes with him. Also important, find activities you can do as a couple (that you both like), and do them often. *Make sure you have an activity for each season if some are weather specific. 

4.      Make team decisions. It’s easy to think of a relationships as two individuals coming together, but some of the best moments I have had in my marriage is when we make decsions about what things we want to do, see, or experience together. It will make your relationship team more invested in your goals for each other. A relationship is a two person job so be a good partner and don't let your significant other do all the heavy lifting. 

5.      Speak kindly to your significant other. Have you noticed when you use kind words to people, they tend to use them back to you? I think sometimes we get in the habit of treating people we love with less love than those we don’t know as well. We think, “it doesn’t matter, they’ll love me and forgive me anyway” and we use it as a way to justify ourselves venting on them. I know when I’m treating my spouse with love and speaking kindly to him, he is more likely to do the same to me. By doing that, we are inviting love and warmth into our marriage. 

6.      Use fair fighting rules. I think the term fair fighting rules could also be called the disagreement rules because having differences of opinion is part of any relationship and a strong relationship for me is often demonstrated by a couple’s ability to compromise and disagree in a healthy way, as opposed to rarely or never disagreeing at all. 

Read the fair fighting rules: 

fight fair

If you and your partner can both commit to agreeing to these great tips we can guarantee you will have a healthy, happy, loving and more productive relationship. 

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