Six tips for showing love to your significant other

Valentine’s Day is coming up and the topic of love is everywhere! Whether you’ve been in your relationship for years or you’re just starting out, it’s important to actively show love to your significant other. I asked my husband to help me with this post and we will take turns sharing tips on how you can show love to your partner. 

6 steps to showing love to your significant other

1.      I think the most important aspect of showing your significant other love is to know their love language. Have you heard of Gary Chapman’s love languages? If not, (or if you need a refresher) take the quiz, linked below. By knowing your significant other’s love language, you can ensure you are showing them love the way they recognize it. (If you’re not familiar with this idea, seriously, go read up on it now!)

5 love languages

2.      Do something for your partner. Whether it’s giving them a back massage, completing a chore/task they don’t like to do, or something they usually do. Go out of your way to do something nice for them. Without them asking. I think this is something universal that you can make work for any love language. 

3.      Do things as a couple you like, your partner likes, and you both like. I love to run and hike, my husband, not as much. So when he suggests going for a hike or signs up to run a race with me, I know he is making an effort to spend time with me. Likewise, I try to offer to do things he likes with him. Also important, find activities you can do as a couple (that you both like), and do them often. *Make sure you have an activity for each season if some are weather specific. 

4.      Make team decisions. It’s easy to think of a relationships as two individuals coming together, but some of the best moments I have had in my marriage is when we make decsions about what things we want to do, see, or experience together. It will make your relationship team more invested in your goals for each other. A relationship is a two person job so be a good partner and don't let your significant other do all the heavy lifting. 

5.      Speak kindly to your significant other. Have you noticed when you use kind words to people, they tend to use them back to you? I think sometimes we get in the habit of treating people we love with less love than those we don’t know as well. We think, “it doesn’t matter, they’ll love me and forgive me anyway” and we use it as a way to justify ourselves venting on them. I know when I’m treating my spouse with love and speaking kindly to him, he is more likely to do the same to me. By doing that, we are inviting love and warmth into our marriage. 

6.      Use fair fighting rules. I think the term fair fighting rules could also be called the disagreement rules because having differences of opinion is part of any relationship and a strong relationship for me is often demonstrated by a couple’s ability to compromise and disagree in a healthy way, as opposed to rarely or never disagreeing at all. 

Read the fair fighting rules: 

fight fair

If you and your partner can both commit to agreeing to these great tips we can guarantee you will have a healthy, happy, loving and more productive relationship. 

14 days of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday and has been for as long as I can remember. I love having a day specifically designated to shower the people you love. I think it’s important to let those around you (especially a significant other/spouse) know how much you love and appreciate them. 

This year I decided I wanted to write my husband 14 letters (one for each day leading up to Valentine’s Day)   Each day I answered a different question in letter format. It was fun for me to look back on so many memories and experiences we’ve shared together. It reminded me how much I love him and I hope these letter remind him how adored he is. 

Here are my prompts: 

Day 1: When did you first know your spouse was the one for you? How?

Day 2: What is a skill your spouse has developed they should be proud of?

Day 3: What makes your spouse different from everyone else?

Day 4: What do you think is your spouse’s best quality 

Day 5: Name a favorite memory from your wedding day

Day 6: What is something your spouse does that you think is sexy

Day 7: When is a time you were very proud to be married to your spouse?

Day 8: Name a dream/hope you have with your spouse?

Day 9: What are a few little things your spouse does that just makes you smile?

Day 10: Describe a date you’ve been on when you had a lot of fun

Day 11: What is your favorite physical feature of your spouse?

Day 12: What is a quirk your spouse has you find endearing? 

Day 13: What is your favorite memory with your spouse this past year?

Day 14: Reminisce about the first time you said “I love you”

**You can easily make your own cards or buy a pack of cards at the store.**

I’m always looking for new ideas. What are some other inexpensive ways to show love to your spouse? 

L O, L O, L O V E

Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday so it’s only appropriate I take advantage!

I decided this month I would tell you a little about Mike and I and how we got together.

We met in 2005. He was 14, I was 16. We were both working at a summer cub scout camp up Millcreek Canyon. That summer I started dating someone else so I didn’t pay much attention to Mike; plus he was 14.

A couple of summers later, we were both still working at camp. Mike had heard I’d never been to Barbacoa and insisted that we go. We went and then started hanging out regularly. We hung out quite a bit that summer and into the fall; we even formed BAM (Beth, Abby, Mike=best friends forever). At one point, I even told him I liked him and he told me he liked me back, but he didn’t want to get into a relationship as he was friends with my ex. Life got busy and we didn’t talk as often, but then just like that, the summer rolled around and we were still working at camp. I was dating someone else that summer, but one day I had a Jones soda bottle tell me to find a pen pal. Mike agreed and we began writing notes back and forth, our close friendship rekindling. Mike was going to New York with his family so the night before we had a BAM date at Jamba Juice. We were outside on the grass and Mike and I briefly held hands, there was an instant spark. We texted constantly while he was gone, finally admitting we had feelings for each other again, and this time wanted to pursue it. I broke up with my boyfriend, we had our first date, a few days later our first kiss, and then about a week later Mike asked if I was his girlfriend. 

Mike was still in high school and many people were upset we started dating. I frequently asked myself why we were together if there was no way we would ever get married, but it always felt right. We dated for 4 years until we FINALLY got engaged. We’ve always been best friends first and that’s been the foundation of our relationship.

Here we are, going on 9 years of our relationship. It’s not perfect, but he is still my best friend. So that’s our how we got together story. It sort of just happened really fast, but it was also a long time coming. 

So now that you know that, here are some fun facts about us….

 

Who wakes up first in the morning? Mike

Who takes longer to get ready? Beth

Who apologizes first after an argument? Mike

Who said I love you first? We used to say it all the time when we were friends, but actual in love, I love you, Beth

Who mentioned marriage first? Beth (although Mike wrote a poem for Beth during their first year together saying after around 7 months he wondered if she was the one…)

Who makes all the decisions? Mostly together, but ultimate say, Beth

Who is the messiest? Mike

Who wears the pants? Beth

Who is more into their looks? Hmm hard one. Mike cares about his body and being physically fit the most. Looks as in clothes and grooming, Beth.

Who spends more money? Beth 

Who has a bigger wardrobe? Probably a tie.

Who is grumpier in the morning? Beth

Who gave the first kiss? Mike 

Who made the first move? Beth (move meaning saying I liked him)

Who’s a bed hog? Mike 

Who is always running late? Mike 

Who is the biggest baby when they get sick? Mike 

Who is the first to say sorry? Mike 

Who is older? Beth 

Who is more sarcastic? Beth  

Who hogs the remote? Mike 

Who is the most stubborn? Both. 

Who drives when you’re together? Beth  

Who is the most sentimental? Beth. Obviously.